Bipolar Relationships; they are Consistently Inconsistent
Bipolar relationships were perhaps responsible for the phrase, “we are polar opposites”. You have probably heard that on more than one occasion, but it doesn’t always apply to dating relationships. Bipolar relationships naturally can apply to any relationship; parent and child, husband and wife, friend to friend and so forth. Bipolar disorder is hard to live with, and it is even harder for those who don’t understand it.
The parent and child relationship can be completely strained when one of them is bipolar. Bipolar means that there are extreme highs and extreme lows, but not knowing when the high or low will come can make living with them a guessing game. A parent might be spending the day with their child, and the parent just seems sad and wants to lie around on the couch and cry but the child doesn’t understand and begins to feel neglected. The husband and wife can go out on a date night in anticipation of a romantic evening in the bedroom, but when they get home the bipolar party fizzles out and seems distant and sad. The friend who hangs out with her bipolar friend from college on a regular basis calls to leave a message about getting together; her bipolar friend doesn’t call her for days and just ignores her. A week later the bipolar party calls her friend back and tells her she is at the emergency room in the psych ward and has quit her job while her parents are in England. These are all the textbook situations for bipolar disorder, and we can only hope that the answer is just as simple.
Bipolar relationships wax and wane based upon the patients improvement, or willingness to get treatment. When the bipolar patient is taking medicine, they seem to do so much better and they act normal. When the bipolar patient goes off the meds, he or she do it because they feel great and they don’t see the need for the medicine, but then within a day or two reality hits. They are suffering, sad, crying at all hours of the night, and they have offended friends and family. When the friends and family are tuned it to what is going on they are okay with this because they know with the help of medicine and a few days in passing things will be back to normal, or at least they hope so.
Bipolar relationships are really tough without a proper diagnosis. Once a diagnosis has been made everyone has an understanding. Until then, the other party feels that the relationship is very one sided, and so they get very discouraged. They want to help, but they feel as though the bipolar party doesn’t want to listen. They fear that if they are honest with them and express their desire for them to get help that the bipolar party will get easily offended. This is a tough call in a bipolar relationship, but it is hard to know what to do when you aren’t familiar with bipolar disorder.
When it comes to bipolar relationships, it may be helpful to help that friend or spouse find help and then maybe go to counseling with them. Going to counseling with them shows that you are supportive, and willing to help. The tough part for you is knowing that they may never think that you do want to help unless you aid them in the process of getting the help they need. However, if you are there in the midst of a counselor with your friend or spouse, the counselor may be able to convey to them what you have been telling them all along, but it’s always different when a non biased party is explaining this to them.